Breaking Up is Hard to Do/The Northwest Cow Horse Scene

by Allison Trimble

I often liken the cowhorse world to a small town.  Everybody knows everybody else and their horses, and from that comes a feeling of safety and support.  But like a small town, everyone knows everyone else’s business, and as a non pro, this can make changing barns very dicey and uncomfortable.  On many occasions, my fellow non pros will come to me and confidentially ask for my advice on certain issues.  The most common question is whether or not they should--and how do they--change trainers. 

There are numerous reasons that a person will want to change trainers, ranging from personal differences to financial issues to feeling that they are not moving clearly enough towards their goals. If there is a “blow up” in a barn, a change is very expected and, although painful, it is an easy decision to make.  However, the most common scenario I hear is the non pro/client is not satisfied with their situation, for whatever reason, but they are friends with the trainer.  The client is worried about making waves, hurting the trainer’s feelings, or being ostracized from the cowhorse community. If you really feel strongly that the situation is not for you, it is important that you do what is best for you and your horse.

Here are some tips and things to remember when you are struggling with this decision:

Eliminating the “Friend” Element

Think of the situation as a business deal.  If you are unsure if you should stay in your situation, think of it in terms of your landscaper or dentist. If you went to the dentist to fix a cavity and he whitened you teeth instead, would you keep going to him? He may be the best tooth-whitener in the world, but it wasn’t what you needed. 

Feeling as though you are letting down a friend is the most common worry.  Just because you are friendly with your trainer should not be enough to make you stay in an unsatisfying position.  For some reason, when people make decisions regarding their hobby, they think differently about it than they do in their work life. It isn’t personal—it's business for both you and the trainer. Keeping things friendly but professional will really help.

Cost

It can be a very expensive decision if you drag it out.  One friend of mine had two horses in training and had been so disillusioned with her situation that she didn’t go to the barn or ride for six months.  If she was paying an average training fee of $750 per horse per month, that's $9000 worth of no fun. That is not what you got into this sport for. 

It is Extremely Common.

One of the things I like about the Northwest is the fabulous group of trainers we have here and how well they work together.  It is not uncommon at all for people to move trainers if they, or their trainer, think another barn would be a better fit for them or their horse.  I do not want to condone serial barn-hopping, but I do want to make it clear that it is very normal to try on a few shoes until you find the perfect fit. Each of the trainers has strengths and weaknesses, and it is important to find one that fits your needs.  It is also common knowledge that not all horses get along with all people. There may be a better match for your horse out there. 

Be Upfront and Honest

The only situations I can think of that went badly were the ones where a client pulled a midnight move, took a horse with money owed, or made things personal. If you want to make a move, sit down and have a talk with your trainer.  You don’t even have to state your reasons if you are uncomfortable and are afraid of doing damage that would prevent you from having a future friendship.  There may be a series of discussions with your trainer leading up to a move where they may help you find another barn that would be a better fit.  You can even be as general as just saying you want to try something different to help broaden the great base they have given you.  Although it may be uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a negative situation at all. Remembering that it is a small horse world, you want both your old and new trainer to be aware of the situation and that will all but eliminate any potential drama. Being sneaky will just make you look bad and will make other trainers hesitate before having you in their barn.

This is the nature of the horse business, and anyone who has been a trainer for long knows this.  The only time a trainer would take huge issue with losing your business is if you were their only, or largest, customer or if it were a complete surprise.  I do not know a single trainer in the Northwest that is worth his/her salt that would take offense to a client changing barns if they are honest about it and have settled any outstanding bills. Even though a horse trainer is doing what they love, it is still their business.  If you approach the situation professionally, you will receive a like response.